🥣
Net Wt. ∞ regrets
CEREAL AISLE TRIBUNAL™
NEW! Now with 3 AI judges!
The Origin Story
One Tuesday in 2024, a person stood in aisle 7 for 47 minutes choosing between Raisin Bran and Raisin Bran Crunch. A fluorescent light flickered overhead. A toddler screamed two aisles over. An intercom announced a “cleanup on aisle 3.” In that instant, it became clear: we don't lack information. We lack a panel of reality-TV judges who will yell at us until we decide. The Tribunal was born.
Nutrition Facts
Decisions per serving1
Judges3 (AI)
Regret0%
Closure100% DV
ConfettiExcessive
Ingredients (in order of weight)
fluorescent buzz= dissociation
squeaky cart= reluctance
intercom= outside pressure
crinkling box= temptation
sad sigh= fear
kid whining= inner child
sample lady= people-pleasing
fridge hum= depression baseline
checkout beep= urgency
muzak= denial
existential scream= cosmic dread
Directions for Use
- Type a dilemma. Anything. “Should I text him?” counts.
- Layer sounds that match how it feels. You'll know.
- Present to the judges. Accept their verdict (or don't).
- Put the trophy on your shelf. You decided something today.